


Bleeding out for you

by Pipkins379



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, Season/Series 03 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-04
Updated: 2015-02-04
Packaged: 2018-03-10 09:58:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3286100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pipkins379/pseuds/Pipkins379
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No one told Barry what happened to Oliver so it was up to Felicity. She just hadn't realized exactly how close Barry and Oliver had become lately</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bleeding out for you

**Author's Note:**

> This was written after the 10th episode of each current series and is canon up to that point. The only AU aspect is that Barry never moved back in with Joe.  
> This features a canon character death and spoilers up to mid season 3 of Arrow and mid Season 1 of The Flash, please don't read if you haven't seen up to that point in the shows.

 

He’s gone. Felicity was close to tears again. The large apartment seemed dead and empty without either of its former occupants. The huge glass windows were felt like museum display cases revealing her grief to the outside world, the dazzling sun mocking her. It seemed incredible that Oliver could really be gone. His life had been reduced to the books and pictures and all the other stupid knickknacks she was carefully boxing.

Well, that wasn’t entirely true she thought. This Oliver was only ever half of the picture. The other half of Oliver lived in the people the vigilante had saved, in the suit and weapons still displayed in the Arrow cave, and especially in the hearts of the people whose lives he had inspired and brought into his secret family.

Felicity remembered Malcolm Merlyn delivering the news with soul shattering clarity. It was as though it didn’t matter to him, like he’d just lost a dumb football bet; oops bad call now we move on. Except she couldn’t move on. She didn’t even know how to start. She wanted to go back in time and tell her self not to run the DNA test, to believe that it was just a trick and all they had to do was wait. For all the good that would do; for all the good it did Thea. Oliver would be glad to know that she’d finally left Merlyn’s side even if his death was the catalyst.

After a few weeks of silence Thea had finally resorted to her own investigations and discovered Oliver’s fate. She also discovered her father’s lies and his part in her brother’s fate. Like dominoes set into furious motion the team had been unable to prevent her learning her own role in both Sara and Oliver’s deaths. It had proved too much, she’d fled the city again and none of them had any idea where she’d gone. Felicity had tried everything she could think of but it was like Thea had become a ghost.

Roy was the only one truly upset by Thea leaving. He said he understood, that they should too. All Felicity saw when she thought of Thea Merlyn was a murderer. She understood that she was under Merlyn’s control but no one could defend against the choices she’d made to lead her down that road in the first place. She tried so hard not to let the fury over take her but first Oliver’s baby sister had murdered Sara, then Oliver too and now she had abandoned them all. Roy firmly believed that Thea was a strong woman now and she would be ok. Felicity hoped so only for Oliver’s memory and nothing else.  

Felicity almost regretted her decision to clear the house alone, it had seemed like a good idea at the time; a chance to say goodbye but now she couldn’t even bring herself to enter Oliver’s room. Instead she was emptying the living room and Thea’s room first. She knew that someone else would take over the job in a heartbeat if she called but she couldn’t bear the idea of not being a part of it and she didn’t want Diggle or Roy and especially not Laurel around if – when, her traitorous mind supplied – she broke down again. She decided maybe it was time to face it and moved to Oliver’s room.

Standing in the doorway she felt sad that she’d never been in this room whilst he was alive. It almost felt wrong to be here now but she was glad to be the one to do this. The first thing she noticed was a S.T.A.R Labs sweater hanging over the back of a chair. It made her smile. She thought of the identical jumper hanging in her closet, received after Barry set her clothes alight on her first visit. She was sure she’d seen Iris wearing one too. They must have hundreds at the rate Barry seemed to be giving them away.

Picking the item up to fold it revealed the thick leather-bound book hidden underneath. She recognised the tattered looking notebook. It was one of Barry’s, she’d seen it at the lab before. She started flicking through the pages and was shocked at the messy scientific scribbles and stolen crime photos that jumped out at her. The pages were filled with notes on both Nora Allen’s murder and the many meta-humans the teams had encountered. She hadn’t realised that Oliver was helping Barry with this project. As far as she knew they only saw each other when they were jointly defending one of the cities. This helped explain how often the teams had been meeting up recently. Over the last couple of months it had become usual to see Barry hanging out in the Arrow cave. It had made her glad that Oliver had someone to turn to. The rest of the team helped out and offered to talk but none of them had the perspective of a known vigilante like Barry did – although from what she’d seen on tv lately Oliver would be proud of the way the city was beginning to see The Flash as a hero.

Oliver needed more people to talk to and rely on, and so did Barry. If Oliver was helping with the murder though, she wondered why they hadn’t asked the rest of the Arrow team for help.

Felicity had a sudden realisation that stopped her cold. No one had told Barry. No one in central city had any idea that Oliver was dead. It made her feel so guilty, realising that Barry and Oliver had been such good friends. She made a decision. Sorting through the house was depressing her anyway. She would book a train ticket to Central, give Barry his things back and give herself a break.

 

 

Barry was reading a long, very dry medical report when the knock at the door sounded. He wasn’t expecting anyone but the interruption was very welcome. Of all the people he could have predicted being on the other side of his door Felicity Smoak was very low on the list. Her being here instead of Oliver also did nothing to help the growing knot of anxiety he’d felt over the last few weeks at being unable to contact Oliver or any other member of team Arrow. The lair had been empty as had Oliver’s apartment and no one seemed to want to answer their phones.

“Hi Barry.” She waved awkwardly. “I know I should have called. I stopped at the lab and Caitlin said you’d be here.”

He shook his head, pulling himself together and throwing the front door open. “Felicity. Come in it’s been a while, I was just surprised.”

Felicity smiled, Barry’s awkward innocence was refreshing. Everyone else around her was so consumed with sadness and death right now she hadn’t realised how much she needed to see someone who wasn't.

“Are you in town with the team? Is Ollie ready to team up and kick butt again?” Barry seemed excited but visibly deflated at the sombre look on Felicity’s face.

“What’s wrong?” He noticed the bag for the first time “What’s in the bag? Is it something cool? A new bad guy weapon? Although really that’s Cisco’s thing not min-“

Barry rapidly stopped at Felicity’s devastated look. Whatever this was it was serious.

Felicity took a deep breath and pulled the sweater and the books out of the bag. Barry’s entire being seemed fall still, something she’d never seen in the boy before and right now a boy was what he looked like. She could almost imagine a similar Barry Allen when his mother died. At any other time she would have appreciated the comedy of it but now she had to work hard to blink back more tears.

“Why are you bringing me these? Why isn't Oliver here himself? Why won’t he answer any of my calls? Felicity-” They weren’t questions. His voice was close to breaking and Felicity could tell that he already knew the answer. Maybe he’d suspected it long before she arrived at his door. Felicity was trying her hardest not to cry again and she felt awful for not doing this sooner. It was a miracle she hadn't shriveled dry yet.

“Oliver challenged a man named Ra’s al ghul to a duel.” Felicity started

“He told me weeks ago he was going to do something stupid, something I wouldn’t like to protect Thea but he wouldn’t tell me what,” Barry interrupted.

Felicity nodded, “It was a duel to the death. Oliver; Oliver he – he lost.”

Barry was shaking his head in denial, still utterly frozen. “It must be a trick. A plan of Oliver’s.”

Felicity was starting to sob again. “Merlyn confirmed it, he brought us the weapon.”

Barry was suddenly transformed by a rage that appeared to overtake his entire body, face disfigured by an ugly snarl “Malcolm Merlyn, the guy who hates Oliver! Who’s using Thea! Did you ever think that he was lying?”

Felicity couldn’t begin to explain how desperately they’d all hoped that was the case, how long they had searched, investigated, hoped. But the truth was

“He’s not; Oliver’s gone Barry. I tested the blood myself. It was Oliver’s.”

Just like a puppet whose stings had been cut Barry’s legs buckled and he collapsed to the floor, bursting into tears. Felicity dropped the items and rushed to Barry’s side, cradling him against her chest.

“I really thought that after everything I’ve been through I could finally be happy. Iris and I are talking again, the city stopped seeing me as a threat and I had someone to come home to.” Barry sobbed. “We were just casual but it could have been something more. I think I was in love with him Felicity.”

Felicity went rigid, arms retreating from their protective circle around Barry but he didn’t even notice. He was too lost in his grief to notice the pain he was causing her.

“We didn’t tell anyone. It started after he visited Central the first time. He told me guys like us can’t have the girl and he was right, but I’m like Sara. I’m already involved. We couldn’t put each other in any more danger so it was ok. It started as stress relief and comfort anyway. Just someone to talk to; someone who really knew until he found out you were dating Ray. We could have been something special.”

It was like a bucket of ice had been tipped over her head as she listened. Barry looked up from his rambles and finally seemed to notice the mixed horror and grief she was feeling.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t be telling you all this, I know you still loved him too.”

Felicity made an aborted attempt to speak but the irrational anger slowly creeping through her body seemed to tighten its fist around her throat.

“I need to go.” She choked out, “I just remembered-”

She couldn’t even find it within herself to make up an excuse, gesturing wildly towards the door and almost flinging herself through it desperately. She needed to get away, to forget everything she’d just learnt. Part of her felt stupid; Oliver could date whoever he wanted. The other half felt a mix of hurt and humiliation that Oliver had been happy with Barry while she’d been throwing herself at him like a fool. She half expected Barry to speed after her and was relieved when he clearly decided not to.

 

Diggle and Roy found her hours later in the Arrow cave.

“Hey, Felicity.” Diggle’s voice was gentle, as though speaking to a wounded animal. She figured she looked a state and wondered just how bad she looked like after crying down here for hours, then decided that she didn’t care.

“We came by the apartment but you weren’t there. We were worried.” Roy offered carefully.

Felicity remained silent, avoiding both their gazes.

Diggle lowered himself until they were eye level, although Felicity’s was seeing something far behind them, somewhere none of them could physically go.

“Felicity.” He tried to catch her attention, “You haven’t been down here for weeks. What’s going on?”

Finally Felicity took a shuddering breath and broke her silence.

“Oliver was seeing Barry.” She announced.

“Like, for sports and beer?” Roy asked confused.

Felicity snorted, barely able to speak the words “Like he had a drawer and a toothbrush at Oliver’s.”

Diggle closed his eyes briefly and she saw a mixture of emotions cross his face before his features settled back to impassive.

“How are you doing?”

Felicity sighed, “A part of me is glad. Oliver was never going to be with me. He was too stubborn and he didn’t trust himself; we all knew that. He’s been alone since Sara, I’m glad that he had someone, it’s just-”

“Not you.” Roy confirmed, “I know the feeling.”

“At first I was so angry at Barry, and then I felt awful about it!” Felicity confided. “How can I be angry when he’s lost Oliver too?”

“You’re grieving Felicity. It’s ok to be angry; to have regrets. Oliver wanted to be with you and not having that is something you’ll have to live with yourself.”

“Barry told me that Oliver thought I was dating Ray. Where did he even get that from? Barry and I had chemistry too the first time we met. We ignored it because he was in love with Iris and I was in love with Oliver. All this vigilante, mortal danger, love triangle bullshit is ruining my life Digg. I wish people could just be honest, it would make everything so much easier. If Oliver had told Thea the truth from the beginning, if he hadn’t tried so hard to protect everyone but himself.”

Felicity collapsed into sobs again, covering her face with her hands and Diggle pulled her against his chest.

“All I can tell you is that the grief gets easier, it will never leave but you won’t be in this much pain forever.”

Roy felt incredibly awkward and unsure of what to do or how to help but felt like he had to do something.

“You and Laurel are friends now, right? And she knows about everything. She dated Oliver once and she lost Tommy too. Maybe you two could meet up and watch girly movies and eat ice cream or something. Isn’t that what girls do?”

Diggle shot Roy an incredulous look. “I think this is a bit more than a high school break up.”

Felicity laughed. “Actually I have a better idea."

 

Barry was a little scared when he opened his front door to Felicity for the second time that day.

“Felicity, look I’m sorry about earlier I didn’t think-”

Felicity pushed past Barry into his tiny apartment and dropped her coat revealing fluffy blue pyjamas with cute cartoon bunnies all over them. Barry had the sudden image of her riding the train to Central city like that.

“It’s ok, I had no right to be angry, and I was just surprised to be honest. Look Oliver was a stubborn idiot, we never would have worked out.” She took a ragged breath, “He made sure of that. We were both in love with Oliver Queen, to be honest if you made him happy, even for a little while then I’m glad. Besides we’ve kissed before, I’d have to be angry at us too if we’re being fair.”

Barry was speechless, he didn’t know what to say and to be honest he still didn’t really understand what Felicity was doing here wearing pyjamas. He followed her like a puppy as she moved to the living room portion of the room and plopped down on his sofa with a plastic bag.

“And now,” She announced grandly “I think we both have broken hearts and a lot of crying to do and since I’ve still got three days off work, why not turn it into a celebration.”

Barry laughed as he saw what she pulled out of the carrier bag – picture albums, a ton of dvds, enough sweets to rot diamond teeth and ice cream.

“I’m going to put on the notebook, we’re going to cry ourselves dry and make ourselves sick and then I’m going to tell you all about the time Oliver tripped down three flights of steps chasing a bad guy and right into a manure truck. I might even be able to find the video feed. I’m sure you have some great stories too.”

Barry grinned, “That sounds like a great idea. I hope you don’t mind but I think there’s someone else who should be here for this.” 

 

Caitlin and Cisco were arguing over the schematics for a new suit while Dr Wells tried not to laugh too fondly in the corner lab.

The chorus of happy greetings as Barry sped into the room quickly faded when they saw the state of his face.

“Dude, you look like you’ve been attacked with mace.” Cisco said

Caitlin elbowed him hard in the gut. “Barry, what’s happened?”

Barry took a deep breath and began in a matter-of-fact tone. That was the only way he was going to get through this without tears. “I’m going to talk and I need you not to interrupt until I’m done. Firstly, Oliver and I have been almost dating for several months.”

Cisco interrupted almost immediately, “What does almost dating mean? Dinner and no sex, friends with benefits?”

Barry ignored Caitlin punching Cisco while Dr Wells immediately began protesting Oliver’s poor influence on the team.

“It doesn’t matter. Secondly, Oliver is dead. He lost a duel to the death against a rival.” He swallowed for moment as his voice broke, taking in the stunned reactions around the room. It was the first time he’d said it out loud.

“Also, Cisco told me about Ronnie. I never told you how sorry I was.”

Caitlin looked torn between outrage at Cisco and misery at the reminder.

“What about Ronnie?” Dr Wells asked.

“Not right now, Dr Wells. Caitlin is going to be taking a couple of days off work and coming with me.”

“Is that so Mr Allen?”

“Yes, we’re going to pick up Chinese, tissues and Caitlin’s pyjamas and then we’re going to join Felicity at my apartment where we’re going to mourn our awful love lives and celebrate the lives we’ve lost like hormonal teenage girls while we grieve properly.”

Caitlin giggled softly and while her smile was watery it was real. “I’m so sorry Barry.”

“I’m sorry too but we’ll be ok, so you up for it?”

“Only if I can braid your hair?” Caitlin asked mock-seriously.

“Don’t I get an invite?” Cisco pouted.

“Felicity has the notebook on already.” Barry raised a brow.

“Ok, nope offer retracted. Since when did you watch the notebook and have girly nights anyway.”

Barry winked, “Remind me to tell you about my high school alter ego Sebastian some time.”

Then he scooped Caitlin into his arms and zoomed out the door.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This started as a serious take on them both grieving and turned slightly cracky towards the end. The title is based on the Imagine Dragons song which I listened to on repeat. I may reattempt a serious version of this or continue as a series once a few more episodes of each series have aired and Oliver returns. This was self-beta'd so please point out any mistakes I may have missed :)


End file.
